Birds of a feather...

 

…flock together, as do colon cancer patients. We do it on the online community of Colonworld.org where over 100 private and public groups offer a place to seek and offer support, find resources and discover the power of shared experiences. Stage I-III patients often post about successes and moving from treatment to NED (no evidence of disease). Stage IV patients most often offer different stories - NED 3/4/5 years and now…Yeah. 

And much about the trials and tribulations of dealing with chemo and side effects. Not many happy stories. As with the 40 something parents, she dx with Stage III last year, he with Stage IV last month. They have 9 & 12 yo daughters, both have to work and their insurance coverage will leave them untold thousand in debt. And will have little to no access to clinical trials, thanks to this administration’s cuts to grants and research. 

 

Or this one, posted today: [“You’re not going to make it a year” That’s the news I got 48 hours ago. I knew I didn’t have a ton of time but I thought I had longer than that. Now I’m trying to figure out how to both make the most of my time and think about how to go out on my own terms. (Mike M.)]

So, my pitiful experiences pale in comparison to what so many have on their plates. Not having much fun, my general condition varies from mild to moderate to miserable to “just shoot me”. Right now, I’ve got one foot in miserable, the other in just shoot me. This morning, I was mild and able to take a nice walk and work in the garden. Nothing is constant, everything changes with no warning or reason. Just had chemo infusion #19 Wednesday, waiting for a surgical consult to discuss removing the sigmoid tumor, then on to liver tumors and beyond. Probably chemo for life or some other maintenance strategy. Whatever.

I take advantage of the calmer times to enjoy my patio garden, walk when I can and take some photographs. When the fecal material hits the rotary air mover, I simply stay quiet, focus on my breath and let the wave crest. I liken this journey to floating down a river - some calm, beautiful stretches with many rapids and hydraulic pools. The trick is to move through the rough water knowing there is nothing I can do about it and just look forward to the next stretch of calm. I don’t suffer because I accept the dharma, the truth of the world. In the yogic tradition we say that we accept what is so. Makes dealing with these challenges manageable.

I’m glad to be back posting, enjoying seeing everyone’s images and wishing: 

May you be all be safe and protected from harm to both body and spirit

May you all be as healthy, strong and whole, as is possible, in every way

May you all be happy, joyful and at ease in all that you think, feel and do

May you all live in peace and may all your days be filled with lovingkindness. 🙏